Its more than a touch problematic that anything even remotely resembling an aircraft has me reaching for the smelling salts as I spend an absurdly high proportion of my life in the sky. Because, given my unfortunate lack of feathers, I have no choice but to resort to hitching a ride on a big metal bird.

Is my fear logical? No. Of course it’s bloody not. Do I know all the stats about how safe it is? Of course, I bloody do. I’m phobic, not daft. But having eleventy billion or so flights under my belt, I now have my fears completely under control. At least, if you consider sweaty browed pre-flight anxiety, resorting to mainlining Rescue Remedy and rocking back and forth during take-off, landing and the bit in the middle, crazy-eyed with panic whenever the plane hits even the smallest amount of turbulence, “under control”.

My favourite flights are the really, really long ones (and by favourite, I mean dislike immensely). You know, flights like the 12,060-kilometre jaunt from Sydney to Los Angeles, which I’m about to board.

The good news is that I’m somewhat less stressed than I normally would be as I’m flying  United Economy Plus from Sydney to Los Angeles on the Boeing 787-9 Dreamliner, a plane I’m fond of due to its ambient lighting and space. The even better news is I’ve won the airline lottery because there’s an empty seat alongside me, and I’m given a heads up from a savvy flight attendant that an ameliorating G&T will be in my hands the minute the plane reaches altitude. I decide to take this all as a sign from the gods that I’m in for a good flight, though my forehead still beads up with sweat as we take off.

The seat and amenities

As per previous flights with United, my United Economy Plus flight from Sydney to Los Angeles turns out to be extremely pleasant, with zero yelping and not so much as a single rocking motion required from me. Indeed, from the minute my promised G&T appears, I pretty much forget I’m even in an airplane. And not just because I’m half cut after one (one thing I do like about flying is that it makes booze doubly effective).

Whilst some of the credit can go to the makers of Bombay Sapphire, more goes to my comfy Economy Plus seating, which provides an extremely affordable option between the squishy confines of a standard economy seat and the big buck business class seats at the pointy end of the plane.

The 3-3-3 configuration of the aircraft’s seating feels pleasantly uncrowded and all are equipped with adjustable headrests with a pillow, blanket and headphones. While the seat width is the same as a standard economy seat at 17.3 inches, there are a solid few inches of extra legroom as well as a decent pinch of additional pitch, which makes an enormous difference to long-haul comfort.

In-flight Entertainment

But there’s still the matter of 13 hours and 40 minutes to kill, and while I consider taking a nap, the likelihood of my anxiety-riddled self actually sleeping on a flight is about as likely as me not ordering another G&T.

So, I check out United Private Screening, the back-of-seat entertainment system which offers a stack of latest release and classic movies and TV, including plenty of family options, plus a selection of audio books. In my kid-free state, I’m soon happily ensconced in a selection of highbrow movies with snappy dialogue and actual storylines that involve neither animation nor superheroes.

There’s also onboard Wi-Fi (available at a fee per use), a USB charging port, and an international power outlet in between the seats.

Appy travels

A special mention has to go to the frankly awesome United app, which allows me to check my flight, view and change seat assignments, check in, and watch for upgrade status (the anticipation is like waiting for the last ball to drop in Lotto) all on my mobile. I can also access the app in flight to watch TV shows and movies on my phone, should I desire, and I can track the status of my checked bags and arrival gate details.

Meal service

Another bonus for United Premium Plus passengers is that the cabin is located at the front of the plane, meaning they’re first up for the airline’s inflight service. While my Bombay Sapphire comes at a cost, there is a good selection of complimentary beers and wines, as well as tea, coffee and water, which are far more sensible for those wishing to stay hydrated during the long flight. Of course, once the G&T has worked its soothing magic, I order a nice glass of syrah. Sensible never was my thing.

Inflight meals are generous. Not long after take-off I enjoy a tasty main of tangy tomato pasta with vegetables, a salad and a wholemeal roll, with a red wine chaser. There’s also a creamy salted caramel swirl ice cream for desert.  A mid-flight snack of a tasty turkey roll and a couple of Tim Tams is consumed with equal appreciation.

As United Airlines appear to have perfected time travel (or the fact that we’ve crossed the international date line and there’s a 17-hour time difference, but let’s not quibble), the flight manages to land in LA several hours before it left Sydney, following a hearty breakfast of fresh fruit and a very edible sausage and egg number.

I feel fresh as I disembark my United Economy Plus Sydney to Los Angeles flight and dive into LAX, ready to face the heinous immigration queues I’ve been promised by everyone ever. But I’m happy to report, the process proves as ridiculously smooth as my flight.

Disclosure: I flew as a guest of United Airlines, but all sweat beaded brows, gin-swilling and opinions are my own

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You get what you pay for right? So, we really don’t expect much when we fly economy. I mean I figure as long as we get where we’re going in one piece, the job is done. That was until our first date with China Southern, the biggest airline in Asia by fleet size. We’re flying China Southern from Sydney to Guangzhou, and are immediately swept up in a tide of service that goes above and beyond.

Check in

Having been unable to make use of the online check-in service before departing for the airport we arrive more than the requisite three hours before our flight, but there’s already an enormous queue, and all ten million people in it appear to boarding our flight. Worried about seating, I dash up to the service desk, explaining I’m not there to queue jump but just want to make sure the kids are allocated seats with us because we’ve been separated before and the tantrums that followed (by me not the kids) almost created an international incident. From that second, I am swept up in a flurry of extraordinary service. The ground staff are friendly and helpful and just a few minutes later I’ve been allocated seats, signed up to the airline’s free rewards program, Sky Pearl Club and handed express path tickets. And the exceptional service continues at boarding. Colour me impressed.

The seat and amenities

Boarding is as efficient and gracious as check in, and the four of us are soon seated in 31D, E, F & G. Confusingly these are situated only about 10 rows from the nose of the plane, but for some reason they jump numbers. These are bulkhead seats and we’re thrilled with the extra legroom. Seats in the economy cabin are in a 2-4-2 configuration, with the exception of a few rows at the back which are 2-3-2. Our very comfortable seats have a generous 37 inch seat pitch and width of 17.2 inches. There’s no under seat storage but there’s enough room in the over compartment to store all our cabin luggage, and pockets to keep things handy.

Along with a blanket and pillows there is a smart amenity kit. China Southern also looks after the kids with Garfield themed zip pouches, filled with activities and a Garfield cuddly toy that Sugarpuff is utterly besotted with.

Cabin crew

I have to give a shout out to the cabin crew as the in-flight service is faultless. The cabin crew are welcoming and go out of their way to ensure we are comfortable.

When the drink service comes around I order a G&T and am snuck a bonus glass of champagne by the flight attendant. I must look thirsty. Regardless, I don’t say no. This kind of extraordinary service continue throughout the flight, with the kids getting just as much attention as their alcohol-infused mama.

In-flight Entertainment

There are power and USB ports for charging devices but as we’re in a bulkhead row, our entertainment screens are armrest-mounted, and we need to wait until we’ve reached altitude before switching them on. But once we do there’ s over 600 hours of entertainment programming with a decent selection of movies, TV programs and audio programs in English and Mandarin with subtitles.

There’s a decent selection of family programming, a few Marvel movies to keep Raffles happy and some decent comedy and drama for the grown-ups. It’s a night flight so we’re only watching one movie before attempting to catch some sleep, and every member of our crew quickly finds a new release they’re eager to watch.

Meal service

This is where things get interesting. Fresh crusty rolls are served up at both services, and we are offered a choice of Western or Chinese-style meals. We opt for the latter for both dinner and breakfast. Dinner is a gingery Asian-style fish with rice served with a soft and sweetly delicious cheesecake for dessert. Somehow one of the flight attendants gets a whiff of unfillable Raffles love of food and sneaks him a few sublime samples some of the business class offerings.

There’s a goose liver pate and a stunning crab and prawn salad that has him in raptures. He even manages to sneak in an extra dessert. In fact, the entire meal has him raving, a rare occurrence in flight, as he usually skips eating airplane food.  Thoroughly stuffed we all fall into a deep sleep, something even rarer for us in the sky than a good in flight meal.

The following morning, we are woken up by the smell of coffee. Breakfast is hearty and again we go for the Chinese option, thoroughly enjoying the noodles served with mushrooms and fruit.

Feeling quite spoiled by the extraordinary service, we skip off our flight, well rested and fuelled up for the best of Guangzhou. 

China Southern offers direct twice daily flights between Sydney and Gaungzhou.

For more info visit China Southern.

Disclosure: Our flights to Guangzhou were supported by China Southern for a print media story. But, because, we loved it so much we’ve decided to share more about our adventures here. As always, all snoozing, scoffing and opinions are 100% our own.

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Qantas Airbus A330 © Clay Lacy/ Qantas

Flying from Changi is always a treat, but it has quite been a while since I’ve had the pleasure of doing so with Qantas. And even longer since enjoying it in Business Class style. And what a treat it is.

Seamless service, superior comfort and sublime food on the Qantas A330-200 business class service sets the scene for a truly flawless flight.

Qantas Check In  

Check-in at the Premier Check-in Lounge in Terminal 1 is fast and friendly, and my suitcase, crammed though it is full of Singaporean bargains, is well within the Business Class restrictions of two pieces of checked luggage up to 40 kilograms, and carry on of seven kilograms.

After whizzing through the always speedy Changi immigration, its straight to the Qantas Business Lounge where, wine in hand, I tuck into a lovely selection of Singaporean and International cuisine in comfort. While I’d be quite happy to kick back a little longer in the lounge, Changi has so much to see, do and explore, and a last-minute shopping spree and massage beckons, so I pop out for an hour of retail therapy.

The seat and amenities

Business class boarding is equally efficient and gracious, and I’m soon ensconced in a suite-like flat-bed seat in the Sydney bound  A330-200 Business Suite. A 1-2-1 seat configuration offers direct aisle access for all business class passengers

Qantas A330 Business class © Qantas

I’m sitting in Seat 1C and there’s more accessible storage in my private suite than my apartment. After briefly considering asking the cost of weekly rent, I spot a prettily packaged amenity kit. Along with the usual stuff like eye mask, earplugs, socks and toothbrush, it includes an ASPAR Travel Rituals Set so I slather myself in hand cream, moisturiser and lip balm until I smell like a thing of citrusy splendour.

As this is a night flight, the lovely flight staff also proffer me a super comfy set of Qantas PJ’s, which I immediately slip into before strutting about the business class cabin like I’m on the red carpet. Honestly, I’ve been coveting a pair of these things for so long I feel like I’ve won the airline lottery.

The fully reclining flat-bed seats have a seat pitch of 31 inches (78 centimetres) and a width of 18.1 inches (45 centimetres) with intuitive controls and the option of a fitted mattress to make sleeping comfy.

I’m sitting in Seat 1C and there’s more leg room than you can poke an exceptionally long stick at, and the extraordinarily comfortable Vantage XL seat can be in recline from take-off right through to landing. Not being snooze inclined, I instead play with the seat controls, launching myself all over the place while I enjoy a glass of the proffered pre-flight Duval-Leroy Brut.

The In-flight Entertainment

There are plenty of power and USB ports for charging devices and ample space for me to get busy on my laptop. So, with a huge back log up of work and looming deadlines, I do what any sensible person would do. I pack away my laptop, order another glass of bubbles and answer the siren call of the eX3 in-flight entertainment system and its 27-centimetre LCD touchscreen.

With about a bazillion hours of content, including latest release movies, TV box sets and documentaries, I have plenty to choose from, but late night brain fog means I prefer my movies on the not-too-challenging side and I settle in to watch a little Marvel mayhem. And seriously, who could blame me? Given a choice of drooling over a shirtless Chris Hemsworth for two and a half hours while guzzling champers or writing a 1200-word story, you know what you’d do.

Meal service

The Neil Perry curated menu in Qantas Business Class takes the inflight experience to a whole new level. Soon after take-off, dinner is served on white linen with crisp napkins and sparkling silverware. There’s also a selection of premium Australian wines selected by the Qantas Rockpool Sommeliers. I select a sauvignon blanc that beautifully complements my sublime barbecue duck dumplings with aromatic broth, shitake mushrooms, egg noodles and Asian greens, served with a green leaf salad.

Dessert is an apple and vanilla crumble with cinnamon cream, which I follow with a Martell VSOP Cognac.

For the non-sleepy, there’s also a selection of snacks available during the flight including fabulous choc chip cookies and fresh seasonal fruit.

I do manage a few hours of shut-eye during the eight-hour and 20-minute flight, a miracle for this flight non-sleeper, and wake to a delightful breakfast of green juice of honeydew, cucumber apple and kale, macadamia toasted muesli and a bacon and egg brioche roll with hot sauce. A perfect kick starter after an equally perfect flight!

QANTAS offers direct twice daily flights between Singapore and Sydney.

For more info visit Qantas

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Written by Raffles – Aged 10

I love travel more than just about anything, even eating. Ok, so maybe not more than, but at least equal to. But, luckily food and travel go hand in hand. Unfortunately, so do travel and airports. I mean, I love flying, unlike my scaredy-cat mum, but there’s literally nothing more lame than sitting around for hours and hours in an airport waiting for a flight.

Seriously, just about the only entertainment I can ever find at an airport is winding up mum by asking her when our flight is leaving every 15 seconds… and annoying my little sister.

But then there’s Changi, Singapore’s epic international airport. Having visited or transited Singapore at least a bazillion times, it’s my favourite airport on earth. In fact, it’s so awesome and there’s so much for kids to do to kill an hour or 12 I’d happily have a holiday in the terminal.

Here are my top 18 awesome activities for kids at Singapore Changi Airport

1. You can fly before you take off

The best thing about Changi is you don’t even need to check-in before you can start flying. In Changi’s Terminal 3 there’s a twisty, turny insane 12-metre high slide in the public area.  You can zoom down the slide at super speeds of up to six metres per second and there’s a shorter, slower route for little kids, like my sister. Me? I’m going all the way.

2. You can eat Kitty food

OK, so I’m not really a huge fan of Hello Kitty but there’s a Hello Kitty Orchid Garden Café in the public area of terminal 3. I mean, seriously dude, do I have to? Turns out yes, when you have a bossy little sister in tow. But while she goes into conniptions over all the flowers and frills and Hello Kitty fluff, there’s actually a fantastic menu of themed breakfast and brunch that I am quite happy to scoff.

3. You can explore an enchanted Techno garden

The Enchanted Garden in Terminal 2 has four giant glass bouquet sculptures decorated with mosaics and filled with flowers and ferns. Plus there are fibre-optic lights and LEDs that sparkle to life with light and sound. Cool!

4. You can flutter by

I love Changi’s butterfly garden in Terminal 3. The world’s first butterfly garden in an airport, there’s a tropical garden with waterfalls and ponds and more than 1000 brightly coloured butterflies. But as well as being able see loads of neon winged fluttering insects, the garden is educational, and we were able to learn all about their life cycle at the garden’s educational stations.

5.  There’s a cool screen scene

Ok, I have to admit I love a screen, but instead of having to flip out the iPad to kill time while waiting for a flight, they have actual, air-conditioned movie theatres in Terminals 2 & 3, screening free movies all day and night. We got to watch Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle while we waited for our last flight. Can’t complain about that.

6. You can get decked

The Entertainment Deck in Terminal 2 has movies, retro arcade machines, PlayStations and computers, and an awesome Xbox Kinect gaming experience that allows you to play a variety of sports on screen. You know where to find me.

7. And it was all yellow

This place in Terminal 2 has nothing to with a Coldplay song. Instead it’s an unexpected field of hundreds of bright yellow sunflowers on the roof of Terminal 2. It is the last thing I’d ever expect to find in an airport, but Changi is no ordinary airport.

8.You can get a little zen

There’s a Water Lily Garden in Terminal 1. It’s a really chilled place where you can relax alongside giant Amazonian Water Lilies and sacred lotus flowers. Namaste.

9. You can be quite crafty

My sister loves craft, and she really liked the art rubbing stations located in each terminal at Changi. There were loads of supplied crayons to make art imprints of Singaporean icons like the Merlion, and she got to make a pretty cool picture to take home.

10. You can take a dip

At the Aerotel Hotel in Terninal 1, you can enjoy a swim and a splash between flights in the rooftop pool. It’s free for guests of the hotel, but if you’re not staying you can access the pool for a fee.

11. You can get your Tarzan on amongst the vines

When you want to get your Tarzan on, Terminal 1’s Sculptural Tree Garden is the place to go. You can’t actually swing on the vines, but you can run around the raised walkways between vine covered sculptural trees.

12. You can slip and slide

In each of the terminals you’ll find awesome air-conditioned play areas to suit kids of all ages with loads of climbing frames, obstacles and slides.

13. Partake in prickly pastimes

There are more than 100 species of cacti and arid plants from Africa and the Americas in the cool cactus garden in Terminal 1. It is a bit smoky though as it’s a designated smoking area.

14. It’s super social

In Terminal 1, the Social Tree looks like a shrunken version of Gardens by The Bay. It’s a super cool interactive installation, meaning more screen time. The Social Tree lets you snap and store photo and video memories of Changi instantly. You can dress your image in costumes and share them to social media or send them off around the world on the massive 260-degree digital screens that sit on top of the Social Tree. You can also challenge other visitors to games using your avatars. We’ve even been able to retrieve our old images when we’ve come back to the airport on other trips.

15. You can fill up on street eats  

Singapore Food Street in the Changi Airport Terminal 3 Transit area is a proper hawker market serving all my favourite Singaporean street eats including Laksa, Sambal Squid, Hainanese Chicken Rice, Bak Kut The (pork rib in broth) and more! I could happily spend a few hours here scoffing absolutely everything between flights.

16. You can let your parents get pampered

Get your toes nibbled at the Fish Spa in Terminal 2’s Wellness Oasis. Let your mum and dad grab a massage at Be Relax in Terminal 3. Or send mum for a fancy schmancy pampering facial at SK-11 Pitera Lounge followed by a makeover at Dior. Not that my mama needs it, she’s already perfect! (Of course I want something!)

17.  You can experience an alien invasion (not really)

I love orchid flowers, because they look like weird bird aliens. They have 700 orchids and 30 species of orchids here so you can enjoy a close encounter with them at the Orchid Garden & Koi Pond in Terminal 2. They also have ponds full of orange, gold and white Koi fish blowing bubbles at passers-by.

18. You can search for treasure in a Jewel

OMG! We managed to visit Jewel just days after it officially opened. It’s pretty epic. It’s basically a bazillion floors of food (including a branch of my fave Singapore chilli crab place, Jumbo) and shopping. My sister went nuts at the Pokemon Store and I was pretty impressed by the sheer scale but it is HSBC Rain Vortex, the world’s tallest indoor waterfall, which really blew my mind. It is thunderously loud and there’s a mesmerising light show using the waterfall as its screen. Just wow.

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What could be worse than more than 9 hours crammed into a tiny space with two farting and belching children, especially when they’re your own?  I don’t know because somehow, we’ve won the airplane lottery and scored four seats between the three of us on our Thai Airways economy flight from Sydney to Bangkok.

CHECK IN & PRE-BOARDING

It’s handy as I momentarily consider checking one of the kids into the hold, as we’ve each got a whopping 30-kilogram luggage allowance and we’ve barely cracked 12 between us. Speaking of check in, I’m blown away by the incredible ground service of the Thai Airways staff at Sydney Airport. They don’t even try to have me arrested when I try to check in a child and they’re friendly and extremely attentive all the way through to boarding.

THE SEAT

On board, I settle in an aisle seat behind the kids. And by settle, I mean I duct tape myself into it, because there’s no way this claustrophobic mama is giving up an aisle possie or the opportunity to not be dribbled on by small people for the next nine hours and 20 minutes.

This kids have scored an empty centre seat between them, so Sugarpuff straps her bunny into the spare seat belt. Because even stuffed rabbits need to follow the safety instructions.

The seats on the Boeing 747 service are surprisingly comfortable and, as I have a seven-year old seated directly in front of me, I don’t have to deal with a dreaded recliner, so the seating feels relatively spacious for the duration of the flight.

SERVICE & ENTERTAINMENT

When the beverage service commences immediately after take-off, the kids are proffered a bag of crispy treats, juice or soft drinks. I’m offered an additional selection of complimentary beer, wine or spirits. As I am travelling with kids I decide on a bottle of water, so I can remain both hydrated and suitably responsible.

As if. I’m straight into the G&Ts. My children are pro travellers and with over 1,000 hours of movies, short films, games and music – including a stack of family options – on the Thai Airways in-flight entertainment system, they’re both headphoned up and engrossed in their respective movie selection within seconds of the service being switched on. Plus, given I’m seated behind them, I doubt they’d even notice if I was doing handstands in the aisle. Which I don’t. But only because I’d hate to spill a perfectly mixed gin.

We’re barely an hour into the flight when the attendants come by offering the first of two meal services. There is a selection of Western or Asian style meals.  The normally unfussy and very hungry Raffles generally refuses to eat any food in flight because to paraphrase, “it sucks”.

But when my spice-obsessed son hears the attendant mention green curry, he can’t resist.

And he’s very glad he decides to dive in. There’s a reason Thai Airways took the top spot in the Skytrax rankings for best Economy Class meals, and the curry is so spicy and packed with flavour he tries to knock off mine. Sugarpuff goes for the less spicy salmon and potatoes and is just as happy. An empty meal tray is an almost unheard occurrence in Eats World flying history, but Thai Airways’ food is good enough to have pulled off a hat trick.

With another six hours before we’re due to land in Bangkok, where a four-hour time difference awaits to mess with our minds, a normal person would probably take the opportunity to enjoy a nap!

But while Sugarpuff and bunny snuffle and snore, Raffles and I find sleeping in the confines of economy something about as likely as being invited to the cockpit to fly the plane.  So, from our respective aisles, he goes tomb raiding with Lara Croft and delves into the Quantum Realm with Ant Man, and I catch up on a little work.

Throughout the remainder of the flight, the attentive staff regularly pop by with juice and water for anyone needing to rehydrate themselves… and the odd sneaky G&T for a mama preferring to inebriate herself.

Before we know it, we’re being offered our second meal, a beef noodle number that we all enjoy and we’re making our descent into Bangkok, arriving right on schedule.

Our flight has been so comfortable and the service so extraordinary, that as we disembark into Bangkok’s Suvarnabhumi Airport, we’re feeling fresh and ready to explore all the incredible things to in Bangkok with kids.  Now, if we could only find our way out of the cavernous halls of the airport…

THE AIRLINE

Thai Airways is the national carrier of Thailand offering daily direct flights to Bangkok from Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane, with Perth. For more info: Thai Airways 

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Ever wondered what it’s like to fly ultra long haul in United’s Economy Plus?  I settle in on the airline’s new 15 hour and 40-minute, 13,850km service from Sydney to Houston to find out.

Some might suggest it’s slightly demented for a chronic flight phobic to choose a profession that saw her boarding almost 50 flights in the last 12 months alone. But I’m not the only one making dubious career choices, here. I mean, William Shatner is afraid of flying, and he was freakin’ Captain Kirk. And you know, I’ve never been one to let something like a stomach-churning, knee-shaking fear of boarding a plane stop me doing something I love. Instead I simply put myself through a well-practiced process of extreme terror, crazed imaginings and anxiety, starting a good 12-hours before boarding and continuing for the duration of any flight.  That’s right, I’m not just afraid of take offs and landings, but the bit in the middle too.

So you can imagine my joy at discovering my United Airlines flight to Houston, the gateway to all that’s interesting about Texas, and a hub that connects travellers to America’s Southeast, Midwest, East Coast and Latin America, is a 15 hour and 40-minute tour of duty. It is the longest non-stop flight I’ve undertaken. At least it will be until I make the 17-hour return flight home.

But in a surprise turn of events, the ultra-long-haul flight on the airline’s sexy new 787-9 Dreamliner turns out to be such an ultra-pleasant experience that I forget I’m even the sky. Much credit for this must go to my genius Economy Plus seating, a standard economy seat that comes with extra legroom and a little more pitch. Unless you’re a contortionist or a five-year old, leg room is everything on a flight and I find these extra centimetres go a long way to increasing my comfort during this one.

United’s Economy Plus is an extremely affordable option, bridging the gap between standard economy and the often out of reach business or premium economy seating, so there’s really no need to fork out big bucks, or sit resentfully staring towards the pointy end of the plane.

With no kids to hold my hand on this flight, I’ve elected to sit in the aisle seat for a little more freedom and an extra sense of space, and my window seat companion and I are delighted to discover we won the airplane lottery and have an empty seat between us. It’s a promising start.

Because United Airlines Premium Plus seating is located at the front of the plane, it also means we’re the first up for the airline’s excellent inflight service, with beverages commencing immediately after take-off.  While there is a selection of complimentary beers and wines, I nix these in favour of a cuppa and a bottle of water, more than aware of the need to stay hydrated for a flight of this duration.

Of course, I’m unable to resist the siren song of wine for long and my good intentions last only until the flight attendants come by offering the first of three meal services.

A generous glass of Syrah goes perfectly with my tangy tomato and mushroom pasta, though not so much with the creamy salted caramel swirl ice cream that the friendly flight attendants offer for dessert. I’m not complaining. In fact I order another.

The biggest question is what the heck does one do for almost 16-hours at 40,000 feet? Well, a normal person would probably take the opportunity to enjoy a nice long sleep, but I find getting anything even resembling slumber in the confines of economy about as likely as being invited to first class to drink a magnum of Moet through a diamond studded golden straw while receiving a sky-high massage from Chris Hemsworth.

Instead, with a plastic cup full of water for company, I opt to just watch him as there’s a bit of a Hemsworthfest happening on the in-flight entertainment. United Private Screening is the airline’s back-of-seat entertainment system, and allows passengers to check out and pre-select a list of preferred choices from a comprehensive selection of latest release and classic movies and TV series, including a stack of family options, before you fly.

There’s also onboard Wi-Fi (available at a fee per use), in-seat power and I’ve packed my laptop to get a little work done later in the flight. At least that’s my intention.

You see, the impossible happens.  The flight is so comfortable, the ventilation so good, the lighting so ambient, and the flight so gloriously turbulence free, that I am lulled into a dribbling, Thor-infused sleep. Only waking when a kindly flight attendant pokes me to see if I’m hungry. I am. And though I’m a touch disappointed that the prodding hasn’t come from a hand attached to a muscular Thor-sized arm, I’m pleased to have slept at all and accept my snack, a fairly tasty sandwich and a couple of Tim Tams, happily.

The considerable time difference between Sydney and Houston sees us landing just 50 minutes after take-off, post a breakfast frittata.

I feel relatively fresh as I disembark into the cavernous halls of Houston Airport, one of the most efficient airports I’ve come across, and am raring to explore to the Texan town, America’s fourth largest, which I’m sure will prove every bit as great as the flight did to get here.

Disclosure: I flew as a very grateful guest of United Airlines, but all anxiety-induced shaking, Hemsworth-infused fantasies and opinions are my own

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To this idiotically flight phobic frequent flyer, spending a minute on an aircraft is not dissimilar to spending several centuries in the seventh circle of hell. In fact, you’ll usually find me pole vaulting over my fellow passengers on landing in my desperation to escape.

So imagine my surprise when for the first time in literally hundreds and hundreds of flights, I actually wanted my flight on Emirates A380 Business class from Sydney to Christchurch to be longer than its speedy three hours and five minutes.

Ok, so the fact that I was flying business class may have had something to do with that, and the pre-flight Moët & Chandon most definitely did.

But seriously, the entire experience from the impossibly smooth and quiet take-off to landing was so sublime it may have ruined me for flying.

I mean, this wasn’t my first time in Business Class, but it was certainly the best, every element of the service just that extra bit special.

So, what is Emirates A380 Business class like?

In a word sublime. The elegant wood paneled seats are suite-like and the cabin is laid out in a 1-2-1 configuration, my single window seat offering me a little extra privacy. The centre row is better for couples, parents travelling with kids, or anyone lucky enough to score a seat next to a Chris Hemsworth lookalike (or for that matter an actual Hemsworth), but come with an electronic privacy screen if you’re not.

There is loads of storage, an intuitive fully-reclining seat and Emirates ‘ICE’ inflight entertainment system with a whopping 17-inch touchscreen, hand controls, a detachable tablet and comfy noise cancelling headphones.  As for what to watch, there are thousands of movies, television shows and audio programmes to choose from, plus 20MB of free Wi-Fi to use within the first two hours of log in.

While I took the chance to shut down from the outside world and kept myself happily entertained playing with my seat buttons, swilling champers and watching movies not featuring animated talking animals, there was an option to purchase further data at a fairly reasonable rate.

Meals are served on white linen with crisp napkins and gleaming cutlery and come with a tasty appetiser, a choice of three main courses (at dinner) and four desserts. I choose a beautifully cooked salmon and a luscious lemon tart, and am more than happy with my selection.

There’s a separate wine list offering a curated selection of red and white wines along with tasting notes and suggested pairings, which I ignore because I’m digging the Moët too much. A perfect pair of hand-made chocolates complete the meal experience.

After the dinner service, I head off to explore, though get only as far as the glam cocktail bar and lounge, exclusive to Business and First Class passengers where there are platters of salmon bagels, elegant wee sandwiches, nuts, fresh fruit and pretty cakes.

Not to mention a particularly talented attendant whipping up mojitos and a wicked martini that leaves me stirred but not shaken.

As has the entire flight.  Seriously Emirates, how can I possibly fly again without the promise of meals served on the crispest white linens and reclining seat that’s comfier than my own bed, free-flowing champagne and a cocktail waiter at 40,000 whipping up perfect martinis like nobody’s business? 

Emirates A380-800 business class with kids

The mere mention of flying with kids, makes some people break out in hives but talk about kids flying in the hallowed halls of business class, and they tend to spontaneously burst into harrowing tales of how a baby cried for hours and a toddler ran down the aisle a million times, ruining the flight (Note: none times out of ten, hours means five minutes and a million times means once. But the anti-kid flying brigade do love to indulge in a little exaggeration).

But I’m fortunate enough to have flown business class enough times to have my own tales. None of which include noisy or disruptive kids. Like being stuck next to a gropy, drunken loud mouth who didn’t understand the meaning of personal space, a dude who stuck his festering sockless feet up in my window space, regardless of the whopping amount of personal space he had to put them, and Screamy McScreamford, a drama queen who insisted on shouting at the hostess throughout the entire flight because she preferred Veuve to Moet and didn’t feel like chicken, beef or a vegetarian dish. Seriously, why couldn’t they just whip her up a simple pasta?

Give me a crying kid any day.

In my, admittedly biased opinion, if you can afford it, flying business class is a far better option for families because it can take all the strain out of a long-haul flight for adults and kids alike. Especially if it is on the Emirates A380. While I flew solo this time, I did check out all the facilities for kids and chatted at length to the flight staff about what’s on offer. And there is loads.

Not only is there loads more room for fidgety little bodies to fling themselves about, there’s a big comfy seat that turns into a flatbed where they can sleep easily, enough space that they couldn’t kick the seat in front even if they tried, and more snacks and drinks that you can poke a hungry kid at. Then there is the fantastic wide-screen entertainment system with a wide variety of children’s programming including all the best stuff from the Disney, Cartoon Network, CBeebies and Nickelodeon channels, games, and  headphones specially designed for little heads.

The kids will be engrossed for so many hours that you can just sit back, sip on your Moet and tune into something that doesn’t involve talking animals or superheroes. Oh, and on the off chance they do get a little noisy, like you all the adults around you will be rocking a set of lovely noise cancelling headphones, so they won’t hear a thing.

Emirates and kids

But the benefits for kids on Emirates doesn’t end at its awesome kids’ entertainment programming. The airline quite literally spoils their youngest passengers rotten. In its home port of Dubai, there is a dedicated family check-in area, but priority boarding is offered for families across airports worldwide. 
Then there are the exclusive Fly With Me toys and fun packs with different items available both in flight and in Emirates lounges.

On board, pre-school kids will love the range of cute animal characters. On our Emirates A380 business class flight from Sydney to Christchurch, we were offered a Fly with Me Cuddle Buddy, a cute cuddly character stuffed with a toddler-sized blanket, which made for an awesome travel companion for the flight and beyond.

There’s an activity magazine and colouring set for Emirates’ passengers aged between three and eight. And for bigger kids, the airline has teamed up with the experts at Lonely Planet Kids to offer packs for older children with specially designed retro-style backpacks and lunch bags, each featuring exclusive fold-out world maps, travel journals, fact cards, educational books and more to encourage a sense of adventure and learning.

And really, that’s what travel is all about.

Disclosure: Mama Eats World was flown to Christchurch courtesy of Emirates.

The post Emirates A380 Business class from Sydney to Christchurch appeared first on boyeatsworld.

“A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, travel for Mr Eats World and I meant finding a bargain deal for a random destination, chucking a handful of clothes, a camera and a toothbrush in a backpack and buggering off. But when two became three, booking a holiday suddenly required actual thought and planning, and to be frank, had me soiling my wrinkle-free, quick-drying, lightweight, high-performance cargo pants. 

But since that first family adventure, through four climates and four time zones with as many suitcases in as many weeks, we’ve racked up several hundred flights with a baby, a toddler or a tween in every imaginable combination, and have picked up a tip or two along the way.  In fact, so well behaved are Raffles and Sugarpuff in the sky that we often consider living on a plane. That’s partly due to dumb luck, partly to experience but mostly due to sensible planning.

So for the sake of your sanity, here we are sharing our 9 tried and tested tips for flying with kids …

1. The sweet seat

Don’t assume the airline will have you all seated together. Unless one of you is actually flying the plane. We once had an eight-hour flight out of Asia where our entire family was separated, including our three-year old, who was seated a ridiculous five rows out of reach of either of her parents.  It took an hour of me screaming and almost causing an international incident to get each of our kids seated with a parent. When you’re booking, it is absolutely worth paying that extra few dollars to select your seating, unless you actually want your kids scattered from one end of a jumbo to the other. And never sit a young kid, or their octopus like arms and legs, in an aisle seat as the food and beverage cart, and the hot beverages it ferries about the cabin, can be an accident waiting to happen.

2. The early bird catches the plane

Here are two facts. Flights get delayed. Kids get bored. Combining the two can result in shitty behaviour, from parents as well as kids.  If you want to avoid the possibility of tantrum inducing boredom, we suggest flying as early in the day as possible as early morning flights are much less likely to encounter delays. It is also wise to allow extra time for checking in for your flight as kids need time to faff, flounce, wander off and chuck the occasional tanty.

3. Leave the baby steamrollers at home

Most airlines will allow you to keep a lightweight umbrella stroller with you until you board your flight. Note the emphasis on the lightweight. Leave your eight-metre wide Hummer-pram hybrid at home – not only because it will be extraordinarily inconvenient in a crowded airport, but because it’s only going to go in the hold and become more burden than benefit. If you’ve got a tot in tow, a baby carrier will be your freaking saviour. Not only will one free up your hands for handling tickets, passports and other children, they also come in handy for calming unsettled tots on the plane.

4. “I don’t need to go” and other lies

Children have an uncanny ability to never need a toilet when presented with one. But given your little piss takers have hummingbird-sized bladders and an ability to hold on equal to that of one of those tipping bucket thingies at a water park, they’ll need one exactly 30 seconds after the option is no longer there. Make sure they go immediately before boarding, again before they sleep and, yet again before landing. And you’ll have remind them to go at regular intervals or you’ll end up swimming to your destination. And don’t feel bad about sticking toilet trained younger kids in pull-ups for a long flight…  it’s a heck of a lot less stressful than having them squirming when the seat belt sign goes on.

5. Ditch the designer duds

This is not the time to dress your children in their fanciest frocks. Our rule is layered sloth all the way. An uncomfortable child is an unhappy, fidgety child and the fastest track to a major meltdown, so chuck them in the finest trackie daks and rejoice in the quiet of their comfort.

6. Let me, or Netflix, entertain you

Let me state the obvious. Kids get easily bored. We pack each of our kids their own plane bags with the stuff they can’t live without. Though we now take responsibility for them off the plane as children have a heart attack inducing habit of losing the bloody things in airports (I’m looking at you Raffles).  We ensure each bag is packed with enough entertainment to keep them busy for the duration of the flight, taking into account random mood swings and a child’s inability to focus on one thing for more than eight seconds at a time. Essentials include a book, notepad and pencils, headphones and a fully loaded tablet, each.

We find computer games have a tendency to get the kids agitated which is the last thing anyone wants at 30,000 feet, so our sanity saving go to is Netflix. We download the kids favourite movies and series, like Trollhunters and Spirit: Riding Free, and the result is instant silence for the duration of the flight. Our other tip is to pack your own noise cancelling headphones and download a little something for yourself, so you won’t hear them whining when their batteries run out. Marvel’s The Defenders is a good choice for parents because you can pick up a ninja move or two to keep the kids under control if they do start to muck up.

7. Do feed the animals

Make sure you pack snacks. You’ll need enough to keep them going for the duration of your flight because the airplane meal that interests a child has yet to be invented. Snacks are especially important if you have a kid like Raffles who’d eat a flight attendant if he didn’t get fed at regular intervals.

8. Aim low and avoid disappointment

Make sure you fly with realistic expectations. Kids can be fractious, argumentative pains in the arse even at home, so why expect them to turn into a Stepford child when you’ve got them shoved in a small space with nowhere to move for hours on end? Throw out the rule book. No matter what your parenting philosophy, be prepared to negotiate, soothe, and bribe your kids to your destination.

But do remember, even if they are absolute angels from take off until landing, there will always be one of those self-entitled loud mouth passengers who won’t see the irony in the fact they’re complaining loudly to anyone who’ll listen about the merest hint of a whisper from a child. While you may be tempted to retort or try out one of the aforementioned ninja moves you picked up from watching Marvel’s The Defenders, do not engage. Instead focus on your child and remember that most people are nice.  And those who aren’t so nice? Stuff ’em!

The post 8 tried and tested tips for flying with kids appeared first on boyeatsworld.

So you’re planning to sleep your way to your destination ready to hit the ground running on the other side? With the kids in tow? Yeah, listen, about that….

10 minutes into your flight and the baby in 6D will have been howling for nine and a half. Your own kids will be whining because their headphones aren’t working and the youngest will want to wee, “urgently, Mama” but the seat belt signs are still on, so you have to beg them to hold on while they dance about in their seat. At that point the troll behind you will begin kicking the crap out of your seat.

Five minutes later the dude in front of you will recline his seat so far back you can run your fingers through his greasy locks. And there’ll be enough sunlight streaming through the windows to solar power an entire freaking country.

As the seatbelt light pings off and you traipse for the first of many, many trips to the loo with your peeing progeny, you will come to the realisation that getting anything even resembling slumber as a parent in the cosy confines of economy is about as likely as being invited to to first class to drink a magnum of Bollinger through a diamond studded platinum straw while receiving a sky-high massage from Ryan Gosling.

Oh, and that you will be arriving at your destination so wrecked and red-eyed that the dudes in immigration will suspect they’re witnessing the onset of the zombie apocalypse and lock you up in quarantine where your equally apocalyptic looking offspring will start gnawing on what’s left of your brain.

But the good news is that it’s not impossible (the slumber not the Gosling massage).

Tried and tested tricks to sleep better in the sky

1. Lower your expectations

Don’t board that flight expecting everyone to have a snooze worthy of Sleeping Freaking Beauty herself. It ain’t gonna happen. For starters, you have children so nothing will go as planned. And secondly, the pressure you put on yourself to get the kids and yourself to sleep will only keep you awake.

2. Stay classy

This one’s a no brainer. Want a good nights sleep? Unless you moonlight as a professional contortionist, check your clan into business class where they have luxurious lie-flat and fully flat seating so you can snore in style… but you’ll have to save the pennies because it won’t come cheap.

3. Long and leggy

Unless you’re one of the privileged few who can afford business class (in which case, adopt me?), premium economy offers a significant improvement on the economy experience without the hefty cost especially when it comes to better sleep in the sky. Budget airline, Scoot takes extra leg room further with the addition of super and stretch seats, each offering a little more wriggle room at a price that wont break the holiday bank. And my family loves them for it.

4. The sweet spot

If you are stuck in cattle class, as most of us are, seat selection is your everything if  you want to sleep better in the sky. To avoid falling asleep on a stranger’s shoulder, or on top of one of your offspring, reserve a window seat so you at least have the wall to lay your head on. As an added bonus you can slumber without having to get up every time your seat mate needs to pee, unless of course your seat mate is your own small child. Then be prepared to spend the greater part of your flight trekking to the loo. To select the best seat on your next flight, check out SeatGuru.

5. Pick a side.

Do you sleep on the left or the right side of the bed at home? If you sleep on your right side at home go for a window seat on the right side of the plane and if you’re a leftie, pick one on the left side. You’ll be more comfortable.

6. Compact travel companions

The idea of flying with kids has some people making a beeline for therapy. But not me. I love having a compact human in the seat next to me because they take up far less space and I can hog their legroom. Plus, once we’re in the sky… voila, up goes the arm rest and instant extra room for moi. Either that or you can just stow ’em in the overhead (just kidding.. sort of). Just remember they need sleep too to avoid serious jet lag. Here are a few tips for managing it if they do.

7. Baby on Board

If you are travelling with an infant on a long-haul flight, try to book a bassinet so your baby can stay as close to possible to his or her normal routine. It is also wise to drape a dark muslin wrap over the bassinet to help to block out the light and the annoying passengers who insist on poking at your baby just as he or she is nodding off.

8. Eat yourself to sleep

What is in your belly can seriously impact your quality of sleep, so before you fly make sure the family is fed up on plenty of lean proteins and complex carbohydrates to boost your serotonin levels, which will in turn help you fall asleep.

10. Skimp on in flight style

Trade your designer duds for trackie-daks if sleep is more important to you than sartorial splendour. Unless you’re flying first class and can change into the salubrious sleepwear they provide up at the pointy end, leave your skin tight couture and ten-inch heels at home and chuck on your best muumuu, or at least some loose breathable layers, as this will help you drift off and help prevent deep vein thrombosis (DVT) which occurs when your blood flow is restricted.

11. Carrying on

Even if you’re the type that packs more luggage than Katy Perry on a five continent tour, try to keep your carry on to a minimum so that it can easily be stowed in the overhead. It isn’t going to help you sleep if you lose even more space from under the seat in front of you.

12. Bring a blanky

The temperature can change drastically during a flight and any dips can make sleep more difficult, especially for kids. BYO blanket, or a favourite pashmina for extra comfort as you’ll find its fluffy familiarity may help them, and you, to relax.

13. Pillow pal

No matter which way you look at it, ergonomics and cattle class are mutually exclusive concepts. But a pillow can help. The small pillows they supply on long haul flights wont do your head any favours but if you place them behind your lower back it can help ease the strain in your spine. BYO travel pillows come in a variety of shapes and sizes, so pick ones that work for you and your kids and offer plenty of neck support.

14. Snort your way to sleep

Studies have demonstrated that lavender oil not only decreases blood pressure but encourages deeper sleep, so spray your travel pillow with a little of the soporific scent and sniff away. It’ll also help block out the stench of the foul farting fellow seated in front of you.

15. Free the feet

While it’s tempting to just kick your shoes off as soon as you board, walking around the cabin barefoot is kinda icky, especially if you’re planning on a trip to the bathroom. Make sure you, and your kids, wear shoes that sip on and off easily or, do as I do and steal the towelling slippers from hotels. They weigh nothing, slip easily into your hand luggage and make the perfect fix for your feet in flight. For the sake of politeness, remember to wear clean socks and if you or one of your children have foot odour, keep those tootsies sealed up and stewing because no one wants to sniff up air infused with the stench of festering feet.

16. Under pressure

Compression socks may not be sexy but they are fabulous, darling. Not only do they help prevent tingling, leg cramps and blood clots, they keep your tootsies toasty warm. Oh, and combined with the hotel slippers from my last point, they make for a red-hot fashion statement.

17. Pickiness pays

Order the vegetarian meal on full service flights and you’ll be snoozing before you know it as special meals are always served well before anyone else. And even if you’d rather chomp on something’s flesh, most economy meals are unrecognisable as food and the veggie option is often lighter, so you’ll sleep better anyway.

18. Ditch the jitter juice

Caffeine will only serve to keep you wired and awake. Instead of knocking back a cup of jitter juice, BYO calming chamomile tea bags and ask for hot water to dunk it in.

19. Spirits in the sky

Don’t drink and fly. Wait, what? I know you’re on holiday and that to some people staying hydrated means downing a dozen voddies, but there are better places to get pissed than at 30,000 feet. While alcohol does have some soporific effects, it doesn’t last and can actually keep you awake, only with a bonus headache and unquenchable thirst which requires loads of water and a zillion trips to the toilet, which is hardly conducive to sleep.

20. Belt up

And I don’t mean knocking the flight attendant out for poking you awake to find out if you’re buckled up. Buckle your seat belt over the top of your blanket so it is clearly visible, that way the crew won’t need to get out their cattle prods, and you wont need to get out your boxing gloves, during turbulence.

21. Block it out

Don’t feel like having your ear chewed off by the chatty chappie sitting next to you who feels the need to regale you with every detail of his horrifically banal life for 12 hours straight? Nix the nattering by not engaging and theatrically plugging in your headphones as soon as you board.

22. Do not disturb

Those bloody flight attendants, constantly dropping by with their snacks, drinks, duty-free deals and life-saving safety instructions! Jeez, how’s a girl to sleep? While their perky perseverance is understandable, given it is actually their job, if you’d rather snooze than chew peanuts, politely instruct them that you’d prefer them to leave you undisturbed… unless the plane is being evacuated.

23. The mask

Buy a comfortable, quality eye mask. No, not so you can rock a dark and broody Batman vibe. The lack of light will prompt your body to produce ‘the hormone of darkness’, magical melatonin, a natural hormone used to treat insomnia.

24. Get it ohm

Not sure how to meditate? Download a guided meditation to your smart device. There are some great ones for kids as well as adults. And, if that doesn’t relax you, and them, into sleep, it will at least leave your mind rested.

The post 24 tricks to sleep better in the sky appeared first on boyeatsworld.

Some might say it is odd that I chose a career in travel given that I am as afraid of flying as I am of Donald Trump’s comb over and that weird cheese that comes in a can. 

But it’s not actually flying that terrifies me, it’s crashing. Something I think is reasonable given there’s no bigger downer on a holiday than dying horribly in a flaming ball of twisted steel. Add chronic claustrophobia to the equation and for me flying is right up there with skinning myself and frolicking in a salt mine.

Before you start to judge me for my neuroses, I’d like to point out that I’m not really scared of much else. I love heights, adore a boat and am so unafraid of spiders that I’ve eaten them. I’m also fascinated by sharks and would happily cuddle up to the most slithery snake… as long as its not on a plane.

And you know, when it comes to being afraid of flying, I’m in pretty darn salubrious company. It is estimated that around 25 per cent of people suffer from a fear of flying to varying degrees, and you may find it surprising that there are a staggeringly high number of professional travel writers, clocking up hundreds of thousands of air miles every year while being card carrying aviaphobes. And there are, and have been, stacks of celebrity aeronautical scaredy cats too including Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck, Elvis and Muhammad Ali.

Jeez, even William Shatner is afraid of flying, and he was Captain freakin’ Kirk!

I know that flying is one of the safest modes of transport and that, statistically speaking, I’d have to fly every day for an average of 123,000 years before being in a fatal air crash. But logic isn’t the issue. I mean how logical is the person who tried to convince me that walking over hot coals at one of those motivational boot camps would cure my fear of flying? With hundreds of flights under my belt, I can assure you I’ve yet to board a plane that has burning hot coals in the aisle.

Look, I know that I’m statistically more likely to die of food poisoning but you know what else I know? Reason doesn’t always conquer fear.

Five facts people who are not afraid of flying need to know about people who are. 

1. We’re phobic. Not stupid

People who cite statistics and facts, as condescendingly as possible, only serve to wind up the already jittery aviaphobe further. We’re not uneducated and have usually spent many anxiety-filled hours on Google researching exactly how safe it is.

2. We’re not adverse to a little liquid courage

You may not know that travel insurance doesn’t cover you from the searing death stares you’ll get from anxious flyers who just want you to stop talking to them like they’re morons. Seriously if you’re not offering to shout us a stiff drink in the airport lounge or hurrying the flight attendant along to fetch us a bottle of something alcoholic. Just. Shut. Your. Trap.

3. We’ve heard it all before

If we had a dollar for every time someone told us that we have more chance of dying in a car crash, we’d all own our private jets to panic in.

4. We’re not irrational

As far as phobias go, a fear of flying isn’t really all that irrational. I mean you’re sitting in a flying tube, thousands of feet above the ground, without a net. I just dropped my iPhone from a height of two feet and the frigging thing splintered into a thousand pieces. You do the math.

5. We’re really rather brave

People who board flights with a phobia of flying are actually incredibly brave. My mate Nelson Mandela once said “The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

So there.

The post 5 things people who aren’t afraid of flying should know about those who are appeared first on boyeatsworld.